Thursday, August 31, 2006

Crap artists

So it appears that Tom and Katie have had their baby's first turd bronzed. Not a joke, well just a bit: it has been reproduced in a bronze casting exhibited by edgy artist Daniel Edwards, and is on display at a Brooklyn gallery. Under glass, of course. Nothing very novel there, with much modern art consisting of bodily emissions in various settings. But it is the explanation that takes us into the Twilight Zone: apparently Daniel's doo-doo is commenting on a Gen X trend to do exactly that -- bronze the baby's first production. I ask you: are these people human beings? Or are they, as Scientology high priest Tom might suggest, aliens from a dark and malevolent galaxy?

An episode of The Outer Limits tonight featured two aliens who can control men's minds to make them think they are hot babes; but as the first flush of love fades, the poor putzes start to find their gorgeous wives, well, unappetising, slimy to the touch and smelling like a sewer. Till they see what they have been sharing a bed with: a grotesque misshapen horror that drips stuff like the creature in Alien. Then they go mad. (Did the writer have a recent messy divorce, perhaps?)

Anyway, I've started wondering when Katy will start smelling something a bit off, finding her matinee idol husband slimy to the touch, etc. Unmask Tom Cruise, the Thing that Ate Hollywood! And bronze its poop!

4 Comments:

Blogger First Nations said...

that would have been difficult for me...my daughters first production was a blast of merconium that caught my eh-husband all the way up the arm, across his shirt and right in the face.

I love my daughter.

scientologists suck.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Wyndham said...

"But as the first flush of love fades, the poor putzes start to find their gorgeous wives, well, unappetising, slimy to the touch and smelling like a sewer."

Hold the front page!

1:52 PM  
Blogger DavetheF said...

Hehe. Twas ever thus.
FN Scientologists have a worrying amount of power in Hollywood. I believe it is quite difficult to get a top gig if you aren't one. I had friends who were caught up in this cult. They found it impossible to leave when they hadhad enough. It's a very nasty movement. Of course, L Ron Hubbard was a naval intelligence officer looking to infiltrate the hippie fringes (presumably looking for a line to people like the Weathermen).
As I understand it, Scientology was his hook (it was called Dianetics then). This would explain the mythology of the cult, that we are all from some other planet and have forgotten ourselves. You can see how that would appeal to the denizens of psychedelia. Or California showbiz kooks.

9:20 PM  
Blogger dh said...

Somebody should bronze Tom Cruise I reckon. Dick.

8:10 PM  

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