Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Mi casa, su casa

What's not to like?

So, not only am I not sexy and alluring, nor is my beautiful mountain home overlooking a seaside village in the stupendous Cape. An aeon or so ago I embarked on what seemed to be a brilliant idea to swap my house for a London pad when I descend on Britain in April. But several dozen queries, a raft of sultry pictures and reams of eloquent travel writing later, no such luck. Home exchangers are as numerous as wife swappers on the Internet, I discovered. But as with my sallies on Guardian Soulmates, they turn out to be a fickle bunch. Initial enthusiasm seems to fade swiftly into complete indifference. I had high hopes of a ritzy flat near the Portobello Road after an eager reply to my offer -- from a freelance shoe designer (I had no idea such exotics existed). Alas, the other shoe never dropped. An obdurate silence greeted my increasingly desperate attempts to press my suit. I was going to post a picture to show what they're missing but Blogger will no longer upload pics to my posts. So take my word for it, OK?

So now I am forced to contemplate a rented studio in leafy Willesden Green with – oh, the parsimony! The humiliation! – a coin-operated washer/dryer, among other spartan features of London fringe living.

Note: Thanks for the concern, Pash and Patro, the personal matters were urgent but not shattering. Now I have no excuse.


Blogger First Nations said...

hell, trade with me. you can live on the fringe of america and rent out movies about london.
i'd give bank money to wander around and explore the famous tableland mist habitat where all my favorite perennials come from!

9:10 PM  
Blogger patroclus said...

Willesden is wayyy sexier than Portobello, which is just a den of parvenus and johnnies-come-lately. Watch out for Pound Man. Although conceivably he may be able to help with the coin-op washing machine.

11:00 AM  
Blogger DavetheF said...

It's been a while since I was in London Patro, so I'm glad to hear it. Pound Man sounds like a charater from an ultraviolent south London gangster film. I assume he gives pounds though?

FirstN, thanks for the offer. I'll keep that in mind. You'd be very welcome round here.

9:33 PM  
Blogger Pashmina said...

Willesden Green is the new Notting Hill, in fact, and Portobello went right downhill after I moved out around 5 years ago. Embrace the delights of NW10, and if you haven't done so already, read White Teeth on the plane.

1:19 AM  
Blogger DavetheF said...

My own bleeding comments on my own bleeding blog are missing from yesterday. To reiterate, all this stuff about Willesden Green is coming as a relief. But Zadie Smith is not a fave of mine. I shall probably be reading Neal Stephenson's final trilogy novel on the plane, having decided to have another go.

8:54 PM  
Blogger patroclus said...

Dave, an admirable choice of reading matter, but no flight is that long - unless you were considering travelling via Mars.

I'm afraid I gave you false information about Pound Man. His beat is Harlesden, not Willesden. It turns out I don't know anything about Willesden at all. Sorry about that.

1:16 AM  

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